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20 Oct 2018
When it comes to becoming a mature and healthy well-adjusted adult, nothing is more important than building self confidence. I think true confidence really only stems from ignorance, or absolute blind luck manifested as repetitive achievement giving you no cause to have doubts. growth can only come from acceptance of possibility of failure, not believing it will never happen  - which is where many peoples confidence comes from. Self confidence is the key to success. People often feel that if they do something others will judge them if they mess up and so they don’t even try. But when you have self confidence you don’t care, you mess up and you try again.

What Is Self Confidence?

My life coach taught me this...

Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from repetition. Repetition happens when you interpret failure in a positive way (positive affirmations to create good beliefs). Others can have confidence in you only when you are confident in yourself.

Confidence is a SKILL you can build”

1. Build it by practicing! The more you have tried something over and over again the more confident you become. Practice, repeat and persevere. The more you fail and keep going, the more confident you'll be

2. Stop the negative self talk. You're shooting yourself in the foot, tell yourself "I am the greatest!". You'll be surprised at how much that helps you keep going.

3. Get away from the negative people. You're already struggling not to tell yourself "God I look fat, I'm no good at this" You don't need other people to make this even worse.

4. Build other people's confidence: Focus on what people do well. Don't try to correct their mistakes

5. Interpret feedback in a way that builds your confidence. Instead of "Wow that interview went shitty. I gave a terrible answer to 8/10 questions." say "Hey I did 2/10 questions pretty good! I'm gonna ace those on the next interview!”

How To Build More Confidence

I feel, if one tried to do the thing he fears and practices it regularly, he can develop some self confidence. This video tells us that self-confidence is not an attribute, but rather, a skill that one needs to hone. It teaches us the importance of "persistence" and the immediate need to stop negative self talk. And basically steer away from all the negatives and find ways to overcome them or be better at the positives, i.e. focus on all your good things.

The body language, voice and enthusiasm of the speaker helps convey these points to us in an interesting manner. People need to get out of their comfort bubble and develop the skill of self - confidence to succeed.

This is what I try to keep doing. I keep telling myself that I am good no matter whatever others think about me. My husband's relatives always try to put me down. For instance, I know how to drive but I haven't got my license just because my husband doesn't have enough time to sit with me and make me complete my 120 hours as a learner. His brother and his wife stay home and are licensed drivers but they don't want to guide me. Instead, whenever I try to do it alone they stop me and make excuses for not going with me.

What Happens If You Lack Confidence

Afterwards they make fun of me in the public that I can't drive. This is quite humiliating but I can't do anything about it. But I keep telling myself that I can drive and I will get the license very soon though I don't see any chances for that in the near future. And this was just one example. People around you do not want you to go ahead in your life. All you have to do is keep telling yourself that they actually don't matter. This is your life and you have to make it better by believing in yourself.

The best thing to do is: work on the development of your skills, knowledge and capabilities. Start working out, start reading, start playing an instrument or whatsoever. Challenge yourself. Spending your time useful gives you a feeling of satisfaction about what you've done a particular day. It builds up your confidence slowly.

Doing the things that are most important to you in your life in spite of what you might be thinking or feeling is a powerful psychological skill. It's definitely a skill that can be developed and nurtured. Practice does NOT make perfect!  Perfect practice (deliberate practice) makes perfect.  You could spend 10,000 hours doing the wrong thing, that doesn't make the skill that you practice any better.